


Hurts So Good

by DeansDevilishAngel



Series: Wincest Love Week [4]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: Alpha/Beta/Omega Dynamics, Angst, Boys In Love, Boys Kissing, First Kiss, First Time, Fluff, Humor, Implied Relationships, Implied Sexual Content, M/M, Mentions of Sexual Acts, Sexual Content, Sexual Tension, Sibling Incest
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-12-29
Updated: 2015-12-29
Packaged: 2018-05-10 03:08:05
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 598
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5568481
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DeansDevilishAngel/pseuds/DeansDevilishAngel
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Collection of head-canon drabbles written for the Wincest Love Week 2015 event on Tumblr.</p><p>For the prompt: Angst</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Still the Same

_ I can’t think of anything more angsty than two people who are obviously in love with each other (but neither knows the other is) yet because of their own insecurity, and stubbornness can’t bring themselves to be the one to take the first step; risk being rejected or hurt… So my angst-y Wincest headcanon would read like the story of their life, just with a little more self-awareness and a lot more self-denial on both their parts. _

* * *

 

They grow up exactly like they did except they both admit to themselves that they love the other in a much more than a brotherly way.

They spend almost 20 years pining for each other, refusing to speak their feelings, feeling insecure or unworthy, letting everything and anybody _(fear, demons, angels, vampires, women, addiction, bad choices, death)_ temporarily drive wedges between; eventually reconciling only to start the cycle all over again.

And that’s how they find themselves trapped in the car, waiting for the darkness to pass or at least abate enough to allow them to seek shelter elsewhere.

Both know perfectly well that they were extremely lucky to have escaped intact, that they have been given a rare opportunity at an almost unheard of 2nd  _ (or in their case 3rd, 10th or 16th) _ chance. 

That they should be speaking what is in their heart before something new comes along and interrupts. 

They know the other would kill for them, or because of them; die for them, that neither wants to ‘be’ if the other isn’t. But still the fear and doubts are there so they cling to each other in brotherly comfort only but ultimately say nothing.

And they each pray to deities they don’t really believe in or completely trust anymore that this isn’t the last chance they’ll have. That somehow, someway, they will get a sign that the other feels the same way they do.

The darkness finally lifts…but nothing changes.


	2. Pray Someday Never Comes

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Drabble #2 for the prompt: Angst

Dean thinks he’s not good enough for Sam.

Sam has a good heart. He’s smart, brave, patient, kind, caring, educated, compassionate, beautiful inside and out.

To Dean he shines brighter than any star in any universe ever has or ever will. 

Dean has loved him from the moment their mother laid baby Sammy in his arms the day they came home from the hospital.

He’s been IN love with him since Sam was an awkward gangly 15 year old whose sudden growth spurt made him the clumsiest thing on two feet.

He used to dream of confessing his feelings the second Sam was old enough (18). But that dream died long before Sam’s 18th birthday.

They took a nearly mortal hit when the words “I just want the be normal” poured repeatedly from his nearly 17 year old brothers lips.

The death certificate on his hopes arrived in the mail in a Stanford envelope.

The were in buried at the feet of a long-legged gorgeous all American blonde girl who held his brother’s heart in her lily white hands. 

A girl who was everything his brother deserved and everything Dean could never be.

So Dean has learned to be content with worshiping Sam in silence and from afar. Because he knows that someone like him, someone who has lied, cheated, stolen, betrayed, murdered, and prostituted themselves _(even in the name of providing for their family)_ doesn’t deserve to have something so good.

So he stays quiet, watches over Sam as best as possible and prays that somehow someday when he’s gone, Sam will be able to have the normal happy life someone wonderful like him deserves.


End file.
